6 Month Review

I once herd a pastor say that you should do a personal evaluation every 6 months to make sure you are progressing in your relationship with the Lord. I never want to stop growing. Every day I realize more and more how this life is a journey and for me to go to new levels, lessons need to be learned, which usually entails hardships. I have failed many times. I guess you could say I am kind of hard on myself. I sit there and think up hundreds of reasons why I am not good enough, why He shouldn't love me, why I'm not worthy and how I've failed. But God is so great. It is always then, in the darkest, depressing abyss of my mind, that He revels His light. He counteracts all my reasons with His one, Jesus. Everything inside of me falls in His mercy and grace and I become humbled beyond words definition. And then He smiles. He always smiles. Does He smile because He loves me? Because Im going to be okay? Because I'm growing? The reason doesn't matter. My head cant comprehend it, but my spirit always understands, leaving me completley powerless before Him and I cry. I seriously loath crying, but when you feel His power work inside of you, your body has no other way of expressing whats going on. Words and songs dont hold enough weight. Does anyone know what I am talking about? Anyway, back to my review. December 25, 2010 was 6 months since salvation so I would say Im doing pretty good as of right now :) I've been an GC Intern since September and it is defiantly doing some work in me. I have my own cell, am in SOL and my leader named me her 'Timothy' which is super cool. 6 months ago I was...well, not where I am now, so lets just say I passed the '6 month test.'